Pain and Pleasure
by Oracle's Song
Summary: Being what he is, Roxas, like others like him, wants to truly feel. He is one day presented with an offer of being able to regain some ability to feel and accepts. But what he does not know is that this curse comes with a great price... contains vampirism
1. Prologue

Prologue

For a moment, she heard only the rain and thunder and waited for his response. But he did not respond to her or give any sign of acknowledgment. He just stood there, a glazed look in his eyes. In the light of the heart-shaped moon, she noticed how unusually wide his pupils had dilated. Xion approached him cautiously, though she did not know why she hesitated. But she sensed something ominous around him... Why?

"Roxas..." That seemed to snap him back to reality briefly, for he flinched as if waking from a dream and his eyes returned to a more normal state. His reaction made Xion react much the same, and when he held his head, grunting as if in pain.

"Xion! Get out! Get away from me!" Yeah, something was definitely amiss. But what?

"What's wrong, Roxas?" No way she would just run when her friend was in pain!

"Not… now! Please…!" Every word seemed like a struggle to speak. Or was it because he was clutching his neck so hard?

"Why? Why won't you tell me?" Now she was receiving a message in her mind, her body, like an instinct, telling her to run. _Run._ _Run away from Roxas. He is a monster. He is going to hurt you._

No! Roxas was not like that. Still, with all of his strange behaviors lately, it did make everyone suspicious of him. But no matter what, Roxas was her friend, and she _had_ to help him!

"Just… go… before… it's… too late…" He was shaking uncontrollably, as if he was having a seizure.

"Let me help you! Please, I want to know why-" But he grabbed her shoulders and slammed her against the wall of one of the buildings, thus cutting her off. She yelped as she hit the wall and grunted as she tried to struggle against him, but to no avail. His hands pressed hard against her shoulders, keeping her secured in place as his face leaned closer to hers.

"Roxas… Wh-what are you doing?" She asked in a shaky voice. A gasp escaped her lips as she saw that his eyes were ghastly white. His face lowered down to her neck.

Again she struggled under his grasp in attempt to escape him. She tried to move away from him, but met only the wall. _'He's too strong… I can't stop him!'_ She closed her eyes, unable to bear this any longer. _'Someone… help…'_

* * *

-Author's Notes-

Another stupid, random idea that came into my mind some time ago. Why the heck do so many plot bunnies torture me?! Seriously, I have more plot ideas than finished stories! Ah, well. But if you do like this so far, PLEASE notify me. (You know how; it's right below this text.) Because I want to know if this really is worth my time or not. Worthless or not, though, this plot is gonna run through my mind and wear me out to no end, I swear. But please, give me critique. Yes, I know I sound pathetic saying that, but I'm not demanding it, okay? THAT would be inexcusably pitiful.

Ah… what else… Oh, there's only slight implied Roxas x Naminé, no true pairings, and that's why this is not romance. I might also put in slight implied Xion x Roxas, but unfortunately, I need to play more 358/2 Days before I want to go much further with this project anyway. And the key word for relations between characters is IMPLIED, people. You can believe that they have more going on between them, whatever suits you, but this is not true romance.

Aside from needing more info on the game, I still haven't completely filled in all the details for this story, just a basic outline sketch in my head. So I don't know when I can post the next chapter, so don't ask me. However, if you communicate your thoughts and feelings on this so far, it might encourage me to bring more of this story out sooner. But I can't make any promises.

(Agh, why the heck am I doing this? …Seriously, an idea like _this_? What's gotten into me now?)

**Kingdom Hearts © Disney/Square-Enix, Tetsuya Nomura**


	2. Chapter I

Chapter I

Nobody.

An existence that's not supposed to exist. That's what they told me.

And yet, here we are.

No real sense of self save for our thoughts, unable to truly feel... Maybe not even really alive.

But how did _I _become like this? For some reason, I'm the only one who doesn't know the answer to that question. Everyone else at least remembers what happened to them before it happened, but not me. Actually, I don't even know anything about my previous life. Maybe this is what it's like waking up from a long dream. You know you dreamed, but you don't know what you dreamed about.

What kind of life did I have? Did I even really have a real life? Did I have any friends? I know I've got Axel, and now Xion, I guess. But really, so many things are now running through my mind when before, it was pretty much blank.

Everything was blank at first. But after learning what they taught me, after seeing and hearing so many things... I can't help but question practically everything.

And now look where my curiosity has led me.

I'm starting to regret wandering off from there. Yes, even when they told me to stay on course, I decided to disobey because I just couldn't stop myself. For some reason, I don't want to leave without knowing exactly what I saw back there. So here I am, completely and hopelessly lost with no idea which direction to go. I am so gonna get it when I get back there...

I sigh and bring my hand to my forehead. What was I thinking? What did I hope to gain by doing something as stupid as this? What am I supposed to do now? Wait for them to find me? Or should I continue to seek them out on my own?

I see water beside me and stare at my reflection. When I first awakened, I didn't recognize this face. The blue orbs staring back look hollow. I breathe in deeply and slowly exhale.

How did these eyes look before? I'm pretty sure they had something in them besides what I see now. They must've held more life in them back then than they do now. What kind of life did they show?

"What kind of life did I have? Can I ever get it back?" I close my eyes as I speak this.

"_The better question is: are you sure you want it back?_" My eyes snap open as soon as I hear this.

"Who's there?!" The Keyblade materializes in my hand as I shift into a fighting stance, just in case.

"_Many unanswered questions race through your mind..._" I'm sure a look of confusion is printed on my face, but I'm still not going to drop my guard.

"How do you know this? Are you psychic or something?" But that voice does not answer those questions.

"_They told you that they could give you answers, yet still you have none. Have you ever considered why?_"

Of course I've asked them about myself. I've asked them questions over and over again, but they don't actually answer all of them, or they try to avoid them. For some of the more personal questions, especially concerning my life, they leave me with vague, unsatisfying answers.

Naturally, when they do this, I ask why, but most of them give the same, or at least a similar answer: I'm the lowest ranked; of course they're not gonna fill me in on everything, just enough so that I can fulfill my duties. Or that I'm too young and naïve. Well, Axel usually tells me this.

"They have their reasons…"

"_Knowledge is power. The ignorant are weak. As long as they do not have knowledge, they will always remain weak, and those with knowledge will remain powerful. Thus the ignorant are at their mercy._"

This finally catches me off guard. At their mercy? What exactly does this mean? Ignorance and knowledge…

Knowledge… of my former life? They know… they know the answers.

So if they have answers, why aren't they giving me any?

No, they wouldn't… "Is this your way of saying that they're trying to control everything?"

"_You cannot trust them to guide you to what you seek; they have the knowledge; they have the power, and they can misguide you._"

"Misguide me? But why? Why would they do it?"

"_As you said before, they have their reasons. You hold one of them in your hands right now._"

I look at the weapon in my hands. They told me that this is the Keyblade, but they never actually said how I got this, especially when it's supposed to be legendary, uncommon. Are they trying to control… me?

No… No… Not them… Not Axel. We're friends. He wouldn't…

"_However, your search for truth begins with them._"

"Wait, but you said I can't trust them…"

"_But you can learn skills and knowledge from them that are necessary to guide your path. You do not have to go in the direction that they point, but you can use what they have to offer to forge your own path._"

Ugh, this getting so confusing…

"_You need but one thing to guide your journey: what do you desire most?_"

Desire? Isn't that an emotion? But I can't have desire, in that case. Maybe that question is worded wrong… But an alternative, I suppose, could be: what do I want, or what do I seek? Yes, I can answer that question.

"I want… to feel again. I want to have a real life."

"_This is what you long for… If you so want it that much, you can have it now._"

Now? Is this some kind of trick? "What?"

"_However, your quest for answers is for you alone to accomplish. But as long as you remember why you seek, you may use this power in your journey._"

In the shadows before me, something faintly shimmering appears. I cautiously approach it…

"_Before you accept, you should know these things…_" I stop in mid-stride. "_This power is not to be taken lightly. You will gain tremendous abilities, but also many responsibilities._" This makes me hesitate. "_This will give you a life, but life needs life to sustain itself. If you cannot sustain it, you will lose it._"

"Sustain life…?"

"_You will learn how to do that; it comes as an instinct. Worry not, for it matters not. What matters is whether you understand that you will have to deal with the consequences and whether you accept or not._"

My eyes close as I ponder. Deal with the consequences? Is knowing how to sustain life really an instinct?

I'm actually being offered a chance to live, to feel. How many Nobodies get this opportunity? But if I refuse… how long will I have to wait until I can get my life back anyway? I might not get another chance for a long time… I just hope this doesn't change too much that they notice something.

I know I'm tempting fate by doing this… "I accept."

I walk into the shadows to the glowing object. "_One last thing…_" Before I touch it, that voice interrupts. "_Tell no one how you gain this power._" I can see a shape within the light. It looks like a glass filled with shimmering liquid. I think I see a red tint in there, but it's too faint.

So I can't tell anyone about this? All right… Well, who would believe me, anyway? Actually, I don't know if I ever COULD explain this.

I nod, sealing the deal, and grab the glass. I hesitantly lift it to my lips, knowing that there's no turning back once I go through with this. I nervously lick my lips, and the liquid pours down my throat.

It feels bitter cold in my body, so I swallow it as fast as I can, trying to ignore the stinging. Unfortunately, the icy feeling does not go away; instead, it spreads throughout my body, making me shiver and drop the glass, which falls to the ground. The chill turns into a tingling sensation, and I drop to my knees.

For some reason, I'm sweating all over. But now, I realize that it's becoming warmer. I swear I feel something constricting my chest, because every breath I inhale seems as if I'm in a hot area. Now my body feels like it's burning. I fall to the ground, my eyes shut tightly, grunting against this pain. This feels worse than training with Axel…

Agh! Someone please make this stop! I swear it's gonna burn me from the inside! I want to die; I want to disappear; I don't care; I just want this to stop…!

* * *

-Author's Notes-

In case you haven't noticed, this is like an alternate version of 358/2 Days. I think it also extends into the prologue of KHII and ends there.

So here's the first official chapter. The prologue is intentionally short; it's basically just a teaser. And yes, most of this story will be told through Roxas' point of view. Sorry for you people who are confused with the sudden shift in perspective and expected this to stay third person. But you see, most of my projects are in third person perspective, so I wanted to try something different by writing from the character's perspective, and this seemed like the perfect start.

But I still would like more assistance, or else you're all gonna have to wait quite a while for the next chapter, or at least for this story to be finished. This probably isn't gonna be my best work, as this is my first full-length story I've posted, and this is supposed to be relatively short, but very deep and emotional and dramatic. But I'll make sure to put in as much detail as I can, and I can do that if someone is willing to offer suggestions.

A big thank-you to **Red Fox Prince**, the first reviewer of this story; I've posted this early on just for you. And I hope others out there can appreciate my work also. (Though I feel like maybe this is too hasty of me… Oh, well, something is better than nothing, right?)

Peace out! **10/22/09**

**Kingdom Hearts © Disney/Square-Enix, Tetsuya Nomura**


	3. Chapter II

Chapter II

…

…

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Os7~k22Moan…

…I'm on top of something…

Am I in my bed?

I shift a little, my eyes still closed. How long have I been asleep? How did I get here? The last thing I remember…

Why is it so hard to recall? My mind is so groggy… Wait… That dark place… the voice… searing pain…

I open my eyes, only to be assaulted by harsh brightness, as if a lamp was shining right in front of my face. I squeeze them shut to protect them from further discomfort, grunting against the pain.

That's odd… I don't recall having such bright lights in my room. Though it is very white…

I lift my hands to my eyes and cover them, then open my eyes slightly and peek through the spaces between my fingers to reduce the amount of light reaching them. I've never felt such intensity coming from the walls… Or seen so many scratches, for that matter.

Wait a minute; since when were there scratches? I never saw those before… Maybe those are from when I decided to mess around with the Keyblade. (Don't ask why.) I even see a few burn marks where I accidentally let loose a Fire spell. Didn't I clean those up? Guess I didn't see them well enough…

I slowly spread my fingers to take in more detail, and to prevent what happened before. I see marks on the floor, too, and traces of footprints. The styles of some don't look like mine. Well, of course someone had to bring me in here while I was unconscious.

I even see dust motes floating in the air. I thought I could only see them in shafts of light! How am I seeing all of this now?

Apparently, I spread my fingers too far apart, as the brightness again irritates my eyes to the point that I think I'm feeling a minor headache rising. Once again, I shut my eyes to shield them, yet I feel a slight pulsing behind them. I then realize a solution to this: I could just pull my hood over my eyes to shade them. I do so, and cautiously open my eyes. Looks like it helps a little. At least it isn't unbearable.

Without so much stimulation stressing my senses, I can register other things. I hear faint humming, probably mechanical. And I also pick up the sound of footsteps that I did not hear before. They sound light and soft, so it can't be one of the taller ones. Strange thing is, though, to me they sounded like they were right in front of the door, or as I recall, yet they take several seconds to reach the entrance.

Huh, right on cue. And only a few minutes after I woke up, who should arrive but Xion? Of course.

Her eyes widen slightly upon seeing me. "Oh, you're awake." Ah. That explains it.

"Didn't expect to see me up anytime soon?"

She shifts a little and diverts her gaze. "You really caused a lot of mayhem back there… I mean, everyone had a fit when they couldn't find you, much less finally finding you unconscious and alone. When they examined you, they said that you didn't appear injured, but there was something… different about you that they couldn't explain. They tried to look into it, but couldn't find anything. And since it didn't seem to be causing any trouble, they decided to leave it be."

That's the most I've ever heard from her, I believe. Was she really concerned?

"But wandering off like that was irresponsible, so they said, along with so many other rants… You know you're not gonna hear the end of it when they get to you." I've been hearing her breathing as if she is closer to me than she appears, but she isn't panting…

I sigh "I know, I know. What DON'T I know?" Yes, that was rhetorical, but I could think of several answers to that… "So how long have I been out?"

"Only a few hours. I came back every now and then to check on your condition."

She did that? For me? Did I really look that bad?

She then looks back at me, or rather, my hooded face. "So, um… is there any reason you're wearing your hood up?"

I raise my eyebrow slightly, though she can't see the gesture. "Is there a problem with that? You kept it up for while, too, you know."

She looks somewhat taken aback. "Yeah, I know, it's just that… Well, I was…"

"Curious," I speak for her.

She nods. "Well, I guess if it makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to answer."

I nod in return.

"But I do want to know," she walks toward me, "are you sure there's nothing wrong with you? They said not to think about it, but I wanted to hear it from you."

Huh… This seems somewhat out of character for her, or at least from what I've seen since I knew her. But then again, we haven't known each other for very long. I guess this is just a side of her she hadn't shown me until now.

So, she wants to know if I'm okay? Well, I can't really explain what happened to her, considering I bound myself to secrecy. But I don't know if I should tell her that I have this strange power… If I did, would she tell the others? And someone might question how I obtained it – a question I cannot answer.

I don't really feel bad right now… I nod. "I think so, yeah. I just got careless and went AWOL, that's all."

Xion looks at me for a few seconds before nodding. "If you say so…"

An awkward silence falls between us. I inhale deeply and slowly exhale. I should break this silence if she's not going to. "Guess I better prepare myself for what they're gonna say." I rise from the bed.

Xion smiles a little and nods. "You are so in for it..." I roll my eyes.

* * *

I expected Saïx, and maybe the Superior, to be the one to chastise me after what I did.

I did NOT expect EVERYONE to be present for this, AND in the council room no less.

…But I guess I don't blame them when I think about it. So far on all the missions they've assigned me, I've been good and never went astray and completed everything to a T. That excursion is the only time as of now I've ever dared to wander from their sight. I suppose that would naturally come as unexpected for all of them, but hey, I didn't plan that, either. And yet they insist on scolding me "like the child I am". Saïx hasn't actually said anything like that, but I'm pretty sure he's saying that in his mind.

Yes, I am barely registering Saïx's words, but it's nothing I didn't expect. I _know_ what I did; I _know_ I wasn't supposed to do it; and I certainly don't intend to pull another stunt like that anytime soon. (Me and my stupid curiosity…) I just wanna get this over with so they can give me my punishment so I can just suck it up and do what I have to do.

It's really degrading being forced to stand in the center on the ground below them, and especially with everyone staring down at me (not to mention I can hear a few of them muttering stuff about me). The sight itself is kinda intimidating, I'll say, but the situation makes this annoying, too. Maybe Xion had similar thoughts when she was introduced, standing down here like this…

But also what makes this annoying is that I can smell Marluxia's "perfume" from all the way down here. And I thought he smelled overwhelming when I was fighting right next to him! Did he put on more of that stuff for the occasion or something? Nice to know I have a lot of attention. …Or not.

Anyway, back to my "discipline session"… "For us to achieve our goal, we must engage our entire focus to that end. This means that we cannot let ourselves into idle diversions. But if you find something questionable, ask the others about it first instead of wandering off solo to investigate." Oh, I have found more than one thing questionable AND asked someone about it more times than I count.

"You know this well, do you not, Roxas?" I nod. "Then give us the reasoning for your actions."

"My mind was weak." My voice holds no remorse, no emotion whatsoever – just stating what is. "I allowed myself to be led astray – a mistake I do not intend to make again."

"For your sake, I hope you do not." Before anyone can speak again, Xemnas gestures for all to remain silent.

"That will do for now. We will determine your punishment later. Until then, you are all dismissed." Everyone vanishes into the darkness. I turn to the exit – "Except for you, Roxas." I stop abruptly. "I want a word with you alone."

Oh, boy. What have I done this time? I hesitantly turn around to see him standing before me. How did he get here so fast? I didn't sense anything…

"It is true that you should not attempt to investigate anything by yourself without expressed permission. However, I understand that you would not do this without good reason. Now, tell me exactly why you strayed from the mission."

Well, that was to the point. Somehow, I thought he might say this… I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to find the right words to say.

"I sensed something ominous. I caught a glimpse of something in the shadows, but it was not a Heartless. Still, I sensed danger emanating from it."

"What exactly did you see?"

I shake my head. "I couldn't see it clearly enough. That's why I left – to find out what it was."

"And you continued to pursue this presence?"

I nod. "But I never saw what it was."

"What happened in your pursuit?"

This is going to be difficult… I bring my hands to my face and cover my eyes with my palms. "Even though I never saw it, I still sensed it faintly. …I think maybe it wanted something to do with me… Perhaps it intended to lure me away. And yet, I followed my instinct despite listening to better judgment."

"What did it do to you?"

Again, I shake my head in denial. "It didn't actually do anything to me… I think it was more what I did to myself. I made a foolish decision and brought something upon myself."

"And what was that?"

The corner of my mouth twitches upward slightly. "Falling for a trick." Actually, it does kinda seem like that to me; this is like some kind of a trick; I mean, I really don't sense anything different about myself yet, at least nothing too significant.

He looks at me for a moment. "And yet we found you virtually unscathed."

I merely shrug in response. I really don't know anything about that.

"Then what happened to you?"

The memory of that icy coldness evolving into burning flashes through my mind. I remember that all too well. I know that much happened to me – but wait, what did it do to me? It was supposed to give me some kind of power, but what did it DO to me? That I don't know…

"I don't know."

That look he's been giving me has really been bothering me… "You do not remember?"

I clench my fists. This is getting complicated… "What happened is too vague for me to put in words." I've been trying to keep my voice at an even tone; this is just so frustrating!

"Say what you can."

Ugh, what do I say? HOW do I say it? I can't tell him everything, but lying would probably make things worse. I can't mention that I've gained this power because of accepting that deal, and if I mention that I actually spoke with that presence, he'll probably ask what it spoke of, and that would mean trouble for me. So I won't tell him what we spoke of or the offer; in fact, I probably shouldn't tell him that I spoke with it at all. In that case, what should I say?

I'm holding my head in my hands as I formulate an answer, my fingers clawing through my hair. "I followed something I sensed watching me, but I did not actually find anything. I still continued to seek it out, though. The next thing I know, something suddenly contacted me and offered to let me have something that could help me find what I sought." A small smile tugs at my mouth. "And I was foolish enough to accept it. But accepting it caused me to collapse." This isn't lying, if you think about it.

"Who or what contacted you?"

I shake my head. "I don't know. I did not see whoever or whatever it was, and it did not say anything about itself."

"What did it offer?"

"I only know that it spoke of some kind of power."

"Did it go into further detail?"

"It said that I could use it to gain what I sought." Okay, I think that's not quite right… "It did not say what kind of power it was." It's not a lie. I really don't know WHAT this is; it just told me what this would do for me.

He's just standing there now, probably processing this information. Now he's opened his eyes and looked back at me. "So, you say that you sensed something watching you and pursued it, even though you knew not to wander alone?"

I nod.

"And you continued to pursue it until you were offered something that could help you find it?"

Uh-oh. I know what he means, but I meant something else. …Oh well. I nod anyway.

"And you accepted it not knowing exactly what it was?"

"That is correct."

He's scrutinizing me… What's he going to say? "Heeding the words of something you did not know was very unwise. Normally, common knowledge tells us to be wary of what we do not know. But you do not remember any past experiences before joining us, so you might not know that. For this, I shall excuse you this once. But now that I have told you this, I expect you to remember your lesson and not repeat your mistake."

"I understand."

"Very well. That will be all. You may leave."

"Yes, sir." I turn and leave, yet for some reason, something tells me that I should not turn my back to him…

I can tell that his eyes never looked away from me until I was out of his sight.

* * *

I can't believe that I actually survived that. …And without giving away all the details.

Now all that's left to do is wait for what they've got in store for me. Hopefully it won't be too tedious. But didn't Xemnas say that he excused me? …Nah, that's just wishful thinking.

How long do I have to wait, anyway? Will I know by tomorrow, at least? So far I've done nothing but aimlessly wander the halls for a few minutes since the interrogation. I guess I could look for Xion – wait, what's that smell? It smells like ash…

Could it be? Now alert, I look all around me, my eyes darting everywhere. I thought he was supposed to be at that place – what was it called? …Castle Oblivion?

"Well, well, you make one little slip up, and they call everyone so they can see you being disciplined." I know that voice…

I turn around to face him. "Axel." He's actually here?!

"Hey, what's with the hood? Can't bear to show your face after what happened?" He grabs the top of my hood.

"N–" But before I can stop him, he pulls it off my head, exposing my eyes to the harsh brightness again. I hiss and shut my eyes, and he flinches at my reaction. I blindly reach behind my neck and pull my hood up again, muttering a low "Sorry…" under my breath.

He just stands there and blinks in confusion for a moment. "Okay then…" For a moment, that quizzical looks stays on his face, but is replaced by his usual demeanor. "So, Saïx really gave you the heat, didn't he?"

"You're one to say such things." He chuckles in understanding at my comment. "And you weren't much help, either, or even with everyone else talking about me like they thought I wasn't listening." He didn't say anything during the discipline session, but I heard quite a few muttering things every now and then.

He raises an eyebrow. "You heard them?"

That actually surprises him? "Does it take a genius to figure out that they would do something like that?"

He crosses his arms over his chest. "Hmm… Guess not. But what'd you expect from me, anyway?"

"Oh, I don't know; maybe you coulda said something to make them shut up?"

"Yes, I could've done that; it's just that I didn't want any heat on me, or to delay your interrogation with boss man any further."

Now I'M taken aback. "You know about that?"

He just smirks. "Does it take a genius to figure out that he would do something like that?" Ouch. Touché. It's always annoying whenever he makes a comeback like that. "You just suddenly disappeared on us without warning; obviously he'd want to know why." I shoulda known. He then sounds somewhat more serious. "So what happened, anyway? Can you tell me?"

I pause for a moment. "Well, there's a lot to explain. Maybe you should take it up with him when you get the chance." He nods carefully. "Anyway, you've been hanging around Marluxia for too long, haven't you? I can smell traces of his _stench_ on you." I don't what's up with me when it comes to that guy. He's not violent like Larxene, and he doesn't ruthlessly bash me like Vexen, but for some reason, something about him just seems… creepy. Something about him drives me away from him.

Axel shrugs. "Hey, it wasn't my idea to hang with flower boy. Speaking of which, I should probably get back to my station before someone sees I'm missing. We're lucky to have this chance to chat, but I don't know when this'll happen again." I nod in acknowledgment, and my face slips back to its usual expression. He must have noticed this, because he lays a hand on my shoulder. "Hey, just keep your chin up, okay?"

I look in his eyes. "Yeah. See ya."

He nods. "See ya 'round, kid." He turns and leaves.

I'm alone now. Again. I sigh and continue what I was doing before he showed up. I'm barely lifting my feet as I slowly pace through the halls. To think that all of this is happening because I gave in to my curiosity… And what did I get out of this? The only difference I've seen is that now the walls are too bright and I don't know why. What the heck is that "power", anyway? I don't feel any different… What's this all FOR?

I hit my hand against the wall since I don't know how to answer these questions. The impact echoes throughout the halls – whoa, wait a minute, is that a dent? I just dented the wall? I can imagine Lexaeus doing that, but ME?

I frantically look around to see if anyone saw that. No one's around. Still, someone could've heard that… I make a mad dash for my room before someone can find this.

* * *

-Author's Notes-

My deepest apologies to all my readers for making you wait this long. But you see, that interrogation scene was a PAIN to write. You don't know how much both Roxas and I suffered through this: Roxas for trying to dodge Xemnas' questioning, and I for actually writing the scene effectively as I saw fit.

Major foreshadowing in this chapter, folks. And some mild Marluxia bashing (chuckling). Roxas is quite clever, twisting the truth like that, no? And also somewhat cynical (chuckling). But this is only the beginning of Roxas' troubles. I'm really putting him through a lot of torture, aren't I? But I still love him X3. And besides, plenty of other authors do this to their beloved characters, but it's usually necessary. Sometimes we have to be cruel to those we love. I wouldn't call what happened in this chapter cruel, though – not compared to what lies ahead.

I actually intended for Axel to appear when Roxas awoke, but I also want to keep somewhat close to the timeline, and this begins after Roxas and Xion get to know each other but before he falls asleep, so I used her instead. Oh well, at least I managed to fit Axel in at the end.

Here's a little bit of humor to counter the mood from last chapter. He doesn't know it, but right now, Roxas is full of frustration, mostly because of his confusion. And because he just got talked down on "like a bad child" (chuckling). He's in that "everyone's against me" state; I guess something emo people feel sometimes. (raises hands) Not that I stereotype people like that; everyone feels that at some point in time. And I don't consider Roxas emo. He's not just a whiny, depressing kid; he can be lighthearted, too. And you'll see that later on.

But unfortunately, I'm probably going to put this story on hiatus for quite a while, or at least until I finish 358/2 Days and write a lot more of this story. I apologize in advance for this. In the meantime, can someone think of a good punishment for Roxas? **11/8/09**

**Kingdom Hearts © Disney/Square-Enix, Tetsuya Nomura**


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